Welcome to Weird DUI debunking… the milk edition.

When we think about drunk driving, we are pretty much guaranteed that the cause of the incident is related to alcohol… the kind that is served in bars or restaurants. The confusion begins when we start to look at the connection (or disconnection) between alcohol, sugar, and people trying to get out of trouble for a DUI.

Alcohol is a product of fermentation, and it is a sugar. Alcohol and sugar are both used in various food or beverages that we can eat or drink legally, no matter how old we are or whether we will be driving later. Maybe that is why claims that beer battered foods or wine sauces cause high blood alcohol concentration (BAC) readings during DUI investigations are not uncommon.

What IS uncommon is the myth that milk (a legal, alcohol-free beverage that you can drink before driving) can somehow cause a BAC measurement, and one high enough to cause a DUI arrest or conviction.

We like to believe that what is discussed on the Internet stays on the Internet. But, people still believe that sucking on pennies can beat a BAC test. So, here we are, explaining that in no way, shape or form can milk cause a BAC reading.

• Yes, milk contains lactose.
• Lactose is a milk sugar.
• Sugar and alcohol are often tossed together as bad additions to diets.
• Sugar alcohol is neither a sugar nor an alcohol.
• The only thing that can cause a BAC reading is alcohol. Not sugar, not sugar alcohol, and certainly not milk. Not even if the milk is fermented… like alcohol.

PSA: do not drink fermented milk. Ick.

If you are wondering what set off the police breathalyzer or your ignition interlock device, it was likely the drinks you consumed before driving. If you did not drink alcoholic beverages, maybe you are using cough medicine or swished a little too much mouthwash before blowing into the device. Your glass of milk or the foam in your cappuccino is not the culprit for your weird DUI problem.

Around here we stick to what the experts say, especially if it means we get to mention weird DUI stories. Like the one about the guy who broke into a police car while drunk and then passed out. Because we know that there is no cure for intoxication except to allow the time needed to metabolize alcohol – to sleep it off. No number of showers, coffee, or late-night food binges will create a magical state of sobriety. Sleep, however, will allow the time needed to get your head straight. We just do not recommend you sleep it off in a squad car.

There is a weird DUI truth in sleeping in a car if you’re intoxicated: you could be charged with drunk driving.

It is more common than you think. Not everyone is able to separate from their vehicle at the end of a night of drinking, but they also may know they are too drunk to drive. The obvious answer is to sleep off their stupor in their vehicle. The obvious problem is that in most states if you are sleeping off a drunk and are in any sort of “control” of the vehicle (like sleeping in the driver’s seat, or with the keys in the ignition), you can be charged with DUI – even if the car has not been started.

Avoiding a weird DUI like this is no different from avoiding any other type of DUI and the consequences for your actions (like an ignition interlock requirement). If you know you will be drinking, do not make it weird by trying to drive yourself home at the end of the night. In most cases, you will just end up in trouble, regretting your decision to sleep it off anywhere except in your own comfortable bed.

Alcohol has a way of bringing out our true feelings, whether it’s a 2 AM text to an ex or the guilt felt by a drunk driver. Sometimes that means a drunk driver heads directly into a DUI checkpoint, ready to admit guilt. In other cases, a suspect may be trying to get off the streets as quickly as possible, driving right past law enforcement. In a recent weird DUI case, a man in California felt so bad about his intoxicated judgment that he drove himself (under the influence of alcohol) to a local police station to turn himself in.

What do you do when you realize you’re too drunk to drive? Stop driving immediately.

If not, you could be the next in this series of weird DUI stories:

• This New Jersey Man made a similar drive of shame and ended up with another drunk driving conviction and a citation for violating his ignition interlock requirement.
• This happy New Hampshire resident drove past police, set off their spidey senses and ended up with an underage DUI.
• This couple who were using a GPS to get back to a hotel, but ended up at a local police station instead.

In every sense, a DUI is pretty much a guarantee that you are driving yourself to jail, even if you are only trying to get home. Driving under the influence of alcohol is illegal in all 50 states and a danger to everyone on the road. With risks like high court costs and fines, possible jail time, an ignition interlock requirement, and the reality of a fatal accident skipping the weird DUI or any drunk driving incident is the best advice you can follow. Alcohol definitely encourages a true reflection of our inner workings, but that should never include a trip to the police station at any point in our travels home.

We hear about plenty of myths concerning how to beat a car breathalyzer or ignition interlock. Because breathalyzer technology has evolved greatly over the last century, and especially in the last few years, the devices are hard to fool, giving rise to some interesting theories on how to submit a “clean” breath sample. Such as burping into an ignition interlock device in order to beat the breath test.

A burp is the release of gas from the stomach or esophagus, caused by a reaction in the digestive tract from consuming food or beverages.  Because of the concentrated release of gas in a burp, it was once believed that a person taking a breathalyzer test could skew the results. Then, the person providing the breath sample would be able to drive home (likely drunk), because of a false result and an inability to prove their level of intoxication with the breathalyzer.

An ignition interlock device, however, has no discretion – either you pass or fail.

Because an ignition interlock device reports a drunk driving offender’s blood alcohol content (BAC) level to the court, DMV or other reporting agency, it is imperative that the technology used in the device is as accurate as possible. A 1992 study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison proves there is no difference in measuring BAC through a standard breath sample or one that was obtained through burping. Ignition interlock devices test for alcohol in the breath and even a concentrated, burped sample of breath still contains an accurate BAC. Regardless, other studies recommend police officers observe a suspected DUI offender for 20 minutes prior to administering a breathalyzer test in order to reduce the chance of an abnormally high BAC reading.

Clearly burping to beat an ignition interlock test will just cause a test failure and could result in a longer time requirement, revocation of driving privileges, or worse. Instead of trying to burp your way out of the test, just find a safe and sober ride home.